Posted on: 24 March 2018Share
When most people think of divorce, they think of an angry court proceeding that might involve resentment and hurt feelings. The truth is that you don't have to approach divorce this way. Ex-couples do not have to feel like adversaries when they approach the process of divorce thanks to a process called mediation.
Divorce mediation allows the two parties to agree, compromising on important details. The result is a process that is less damaging and more affordable. The divorce is also quick and often less bitter.
What a Divorce Mediator Does
Divorce mediators are tasked with keeping a conversation focused and productive. With the mediator, you will make rational decisions, rather than those made out of anger and fear. Good mediators also have strong knowledge of divorce laws in addition to training in similar areas.
Keep in mind that the mediator is not a therapist or couples counselor. Additionally, the mediator is not trying to get you to work out your issues and stay married. They also will not decide for you or push you in any specific direction.
The Process of Divorce Mediation
In your first meeting with a divorce mediator, you might be in an office or a conference room. Depending on the mediator and the state of your relationship with your ex-spouse, both parties might meet separately or together. In this meeting, you will explain your expectations of the process to the mediator, and the mediator will tell you what you should expect.
The mediator will then ask for your views on each topic so that he or she knows where to begin the process of looking for middle ground. The mediator will see where you have agreements and how this can help lead to compromise.
The Benefits of Divorce Mediation
The courtroom is not always the best place to discuss issues like child custody. When you go to court, you may feel like you and your spouse are adversaries, putting the kids in the middle. Mediation considers that parenting requires an ongoing relationship.
Of course, there are some cases in which you should not rely on a divorce mediator. For instance, mediation is often not successful when relationships involve physical or emotional abuse. They are also not effective if one or both spouses are hiding assets.
Ultimately, it may be in your best interest to consider divorce mediation as a possibility, especially if you simply need a third-party to facilitate a productive conversation.